Hey Harvardians,
Gossip Guy here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Harvard’s queer community. I have the biggest news ever. It looks like the ultimate outsider has become a total insider. Yours truly has joined the ranks of The Voice column writers, and we are all intrigued. Don’t let my name fool you; I’m not here to bring you the newest gossip about the all-intriguing, handsome, used-to-be-chubby-but-now-has-muscles guy you see at the gym all the time, or the overly-sensitive-yet-adorable-and-sexy-dancer you see walking around with headphones. This gossip is about yours truly and the ins and outs of the Gay Life at Harvard. No reputation will be spared.
Let’s begin with what will most draw you in. We know it. Sex. Straight readers: you might be wondering if the queer community at Harvard faces the same obstacles you do. LGBTQ readers: you may be wondering if everything you think about the gay scene at Harvard applies to all of us. I’m going to break it down for all of you, or at least, my story. Let’s return to freshman year, the year that Jenny Humphrey made her grand entrance. And what an entrance I made. How very quickly was I drawn into the hook-up scene at Harvard, right? Before you think of me as a self-proclaimed whore, let me give you background details. Prior to these mind-numbing and shameful experiences of passionless sex, I’d only had it with one other, my first boyfriend. Was it the thrill of being free to do whatever I wanted away from home, or was it the culture that caught me up way too quick?
Now, don’t take this the wrong way. I didn’t start sleeping with anyone that had a pulse. What I did was realize that there wasn’t a big dating scene at Harvard in the gay community (or in any other?). I went to QSA parties and to non-QSA parties. Every time: I saw a boy. He saw me. We danced. We kissed. We made out. We got heavy. His place? My place? Holworthy basement? The reading rooms of Weld? What happened to trading numbers and calling to show you’re interested? What happened to being genuinely interested?
I had no time for games. I was not aware of them. When an upperclassmen I had been talking to for some time asked me to come over one night, I assumed he liked me. We slept together then, and the next weekend, and the next, and several more. In high school we fall in pubescent love and seek relationships. I was not told that things change in college until he rejected the idea of a relationship. “We’re only fucking and having fun,” friends with benefits, he said. They all said…
I’m not crazy. You’ve seen it if you’ve been to QSA parties. There are couples of boys and couples of girls against walls having intense, orgasmic make-out sessions with heavy touching. One second I’m talking to my best friend, the next one he is making out with a boy I’ve never seen him with, and the next he is nowhere to be found and neither is the boy he had been making out with. The upperclassmen creep on the underclassmen, who feel special and fall into the arms of those experienced in the realms of “hooking up.”
Take Hotspot, the first QSA party of the year, replete with condoms and lubrication? It’s a nice touch, but it’s also a precautionary station. “Don’t get HIV. Don’t get herpes. Pick one up. You’ll probably end up having sex tonight.” It’s about promoting safe sex, but it is also about promoting safe sex because you’ve come to the realization that sex is going to happen. Since when did the assumption of sex become part of the meet-and-greet?
I love sex as much as the next person, but I am left to wonder: Is romance all dead? Maybe it’s a college thing, a we-pre-gamed-before-the-party-with-vodka-and-rum thing, or a Harvard thing. Whatever it is, it is a thing. Hooking up. I’ve been a part of it. You probably have. We’re victims (or lovers) of a vicious cycle and of our bodies and hormones. Even gay online dating is haywire. Straight couples have eHarmony and OKCupid, we have Grindr, ManHunt, and Adam4Adam. I’ll get into detail on these “dating” tools next time.
If you want to ask questions, ask for advice, suggest a post topic, or just have general comments, please contact hrvdgossipguy@gmail.com. All email sent to this address will be kept confidential.
Until next time, you know you love me.
xoxo,
Gossip Guy
